Friday, 6 January 2017

The power of the Ego

Ego, Ego
I got one, you got one, and now we equal
Sometimes it makes you trip out on your people
Sometimes it has connotations of evil 
Sometimes niggas call on it when they need to 
It's called the ego

Let's start this first by clearing up that I'm not being a racist shite—quoted above are lyrics from the track Ego by A Tribe Called Quest, which you'd likely have already spotted if you're a bit of a hip-hop fan like myself. And if you disagree with me even printing the word, despite me being understanding of it origins, effects and development then maybe you need to listen to some more ATCQ; perhaps I could suggest Midnight Marauders, track five. RIP Phife Diggy, the Trini Gladiator.

So if you are still here (thanks for sticking around) it's been said that I've got an ego. Though I don't completely disagree, I think there isn't just a single ego that carries you between all sections of your life and I highly disagree with what is understood of the term Ego. I've been informed of my ego, but only about design, my passion and my craft—I certainly don't swagger down the street with an ego about my appearance or place in this world. I'm smart enough to realise I'm worth no more than the elite, the government or the homeless.

So what is an Ego? I hear you not asking. Well as I understand it, by the powers of google it's a "person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance" but definition aside it's often pointed at myself in a derogatory manner. I personally think Ego is like religion, it's a single construct used both to offend and lift any particular person. It's a tricky one.

When someone doesn't care much for themselves and is on a path to self-destruct, it wouldn't be uncommon to hear someone say "She needs to boost her ego" but on the same shelf when you see someone proudly exhibiting their work, talking about it with great praise; it's just as common to hear a slightly under-breathe "His ego is bigger than his head". Just as the hateful and the hateless operate differently through religion, the scorned and the supportive illiterate the term ego varyingly also.

Now to bring this back to myself – as I always do with this blog – it has always been reinforced that I myself carry an ego, quite a large one if I'm to believe what I've been told. Though it's not always said to me in full seriousness, I always laugh it off as I don't really care for taking myself too seriously but that still doesn't mean I believe what I'm being told—as I imagine any person with a stinkingly huge ego might also say.

yes, you all know why this is here.
I think instead, I have self-confidence and an attitude of positivity towards my work and that stands out as an ego in an industry drowned in self-doubt and crippling anxiety. If you can imagine everybody looking at their work, feeling as if they've copied someone else or have no worth in the world around them and they look up in contrast to a privileged white boy smiling and being confident about his work; I too can see why I look like such a conceited arsehole—the Donald J Trump of Cumbrian designers, if you will.

I disagree with what I've been told about an ego because, though I hold an understanding of self-worth, I don't believe that alongside every other creative working just as hard as I am, that I am any better than they are. As a person I don't believe that I'm any better than anyone else, but as a creative, I know with certainty that I'm a better creative than any of those who use the term "it'll do" or just blatantly rip off everyone else. If that means I've got a massive ego, then feck it! I've got an ego. I'm perfectly fine either way.

As I see it, then only things that are truly right, truly factual are the results of science and mathematics—the rest are opinions, view points and prejudices. I realise that's a bit of a hard line to draw but in the case of an ego; it truly is little more than an opinion whether you hold one, don't hold one or whether it really even exists. Find your own truths and always ask why; and perhaps the idea of whether I'm truly egotistical or proud will seem a little more obvious.

I am with out doubt almost certainly the best ramen making designer though. Just saying.


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